Do I live with girls? women? or disgusting frat boys

Every now and then I have to take a step back and wonder if I am in the right house, or if I accidentally walk into a house full of twenty year old frat boys. Tonight was one of those nights ...

First, let me be clear that I am not talking about all of the clothes, shoes, hair barrettes, and other crap that they have a tendency to leave laying around the house. Tonight though, I experienced a first that I hope I never experience again. Let me explain ....

Wednesday night is usually our Mexican dinner night and tonight was no different. After dinner, we returned home, changed clothes and sat down for a relaxing night of television. I was involved in watching the World Series of Poker and I didn't notice that Elizabeth had left the room. After several minutes, Elizabeth returned to the living room and requested my presence in the bathroom.

Now, I admit that I don't always pay attention to Elizabeth while I am watching television but you can't slip a request to come see "my long turd" (sorry mom, but that was Elizabeth's word not mine) past me. Now, while you catch your breath, let me continue.

Elizabeth actually requested that I come to the bathroom to look her poo!!! In fact, she explained in great detail the poo, the gist of which is that she had never had such a long poo. After two or three minutes of this little back and forth, she finally gave up and went back into the "bathroom".

Now fast forward thirty or forty minutes ... I got up to go to the little boys room.

While I may have refused to go see the poo earlier, I did get to see the poo during my visit to the bathroom. Elizabeth was so disappointed that I wouldn't come look at her poo that she left it for me.

To be honest, I wasn't really happy with her decision to leave the poo and I rattled off a few "kind" words about the little present. However, after the initial reaction, I had to admit two things:

1. That was without a doubt the largest poo that I've ever seen.
2. Leaving that "little" surprise was actually funny.

In fact, it was so funny that we actually laid in the floor for several minutes laughing about the whole situation until I announced that I was going to blog about it. Apparently, Elizabeth didn't think it was too funny at that point.

So the moral of the story is that if you play a prank on me, I will tell on you to your mom, family, and the entire Internet. Ha!!!

Checking back in from the road ....

It's been a couple of weeks, so here is the best that I got. As you can probably guess, I've been traveling the highways and byways of Mississippi.

Since I have been traveling so much, I don't really have a lot to say about the homestead. In fact, I haven't seen the homestead too much lately. The girls bathroom has been re-tiled, but until I get home to paint it and the new door is hung, I don't want to share that with you yet. Since I will be home for the next two weeks (starting Friday I think), I should be able to paint it and have pictures up for everyone soon.

Speaking of traveling, I am in Hattiesburg, Columbia, McComb, and Meridian this week. Tonight is McComb. McComb is a small town not too far from Louisiana and is home to the Jerry Clower Museum. Other than the museum, they have a really good Mexican restaurant called "El Dorado" and a brand new Hampton Inn and Suites. Other than that, I don't really know.

I did hear some not so good news from the homestead tonight. Apparently Little E failed her driving test today. She said that she failed because a dog ran into the road during the test and she swerved into the left hand lane to miss the dog. I guess that maneuver was not a safe one as the tester failed her for it. I feel bad for her as 99% of us would have done the same thing, but we would have been wrong for that too. The correct action is to stop and honk at the dog till it moves out of the way. Hopefully we can take the test again and get beyond this problem (of course, that means the Lee household monthly insurance premium will be climbing even higher).

Other than that, I guess everything is in line at the house. I will be back in a few days so they better be when I get home.

Oh yes, an update on the toes, when does this stuff wear off? The Midnight Blue looks as good as it did on day one.

Try a Little Something Different

My dad used to say, "If your scared, say scared". Generally, that little gem was spoken (or yelled depending on the moment) during a ball game or some other appropriate moment. I will even admit that there was a time or two where I had to say "scared".

I bet he never thought it might apply to my day today.

First, before jumping into this little diddy, I want to say Happy Birthday to my Mom. Today is her .... ummmmm, yeah .... I aint that dumb. Lets just say that she is old enough to enjoy the benefits of discounts at Hardees, KFC, etc. Free cups of coffee or small drinks can be important!!!!!

Apparently I had the year wrong for the photos of Rusty with the family. I guess the Christmas Eve party was at our house last year. We've only been in this house for two Christmas's and I thought it was our first year here that we had the party at our house. Now, I did receive one photo of Rusty chilling with the family. I will include a copy of the picture in a future post. If anyone else has some, please send them to me.

Now back to the adventure.

For Christmas, I received a gift certificate (you too? WOW kinda of unheard of HUH?) to a place a business that I never figured I would go to much less actually partake of the services. Overall I dont have a problem with these businesses; in fact, they generally give me an hour or two of peace and quiet. However, today was the day for me to go.

So, after slaving away in the yard this morning, Big E asked if I wanted to go with her to the nail salon. The what? Oh yeah, my gift certificate. Having nothing better to do (take a nap, have a cold beverage, etc) I agreed to go.

When we arrived at the nail salon, Elizabeth signed us in and she picked out her color. After a minute or two, we were shown to our seats.

Now, I've been told by several men that pedicures are a great experience. In fact, I had a "BIG TOUGH CONSTRUCTION MAN" tell me that he goes at least once a month.

So, feeling comfortable in my manhood and going with my wife, I agreed to have a little fun. I will admit that the experience was rather enjoyable but not something I would want to do on a regular basis.

As we neared the end of the experience, the young lady asked if I wanted some clear polish on my toes (I guess this is typically the case for men). Remembering that we have an office party tonight, I promptly told her "NO, I want the most electric color of blue". After she giggled, the older man handling Elizabeth suggested "Midnight Blue". I think he thought I was kidding.

Anyway, as you can see by the picture, I went with Midnight Blue and I think I wear well. Now before you go thinking that I took a picture of Elizabeths feet, check out those hairy toes, thats me.



Are those feet beautiful or what? We are going to the office party tonight and I am wearing sandals. Thats BRAVE!!! Heck, Ive already gone to Publix with sandals and I will be traveling for the next three weeks.

Secure as I might be, I am hoping that this stuff wears off soon. I really want to try this cool lime green color that I saw on the shelf next time .....

I hope you have a great 4th of July. I think we are going to grill a few hotdogs and hamburgers with some of the guys. Enjoy!!!

A nothing day

Living with three teenage girls, one beautiful wife, way too many todos, and traveling (at least lately) leaves very few days when NOTHING is the most important thing on tap for the day. Today, is my nothing today.

That isnt to say that I havent accomplished anything though. Anyone who no knows me, knows that sitting still and doing nothing is not my style. With that being said, here is my day so far ...

1. Wake up (I actually slept till 8:30 AM)
2. Shower and feed the animals (both are my daily chores)
3. Install new rain drip on the roof, spread the ant and bug killer in the back, and replace the bulbs on the back porch (all were my on items so they dont count as work)
4. Watched a movie (Ocean Thirteen)
5. Got a haircut and bought more animal food
6. Organized the photos and videos on my computer (long overdue)
7. Drank some beer (Sorry mom, but its true) and probably will drink a couple of more
8. Chewed a little of the indian wackie weed (ahhh....Redman is the best)
9. Oh yeah, and Im tickling the keyboard now.
10. I plan on grilling a few steaks later....

That is a fairly relaxing day for me. I needed one.

15 minutes later ...

OK, so I decided that I needed to get to the grocery store and grab the grub for tonight. Here is the list of offerings ...

1. Meat is Ribeye (the best), New York and T-Bone steak
2. Grilled corn on the cob
3. Baked red potatoes with onions, garlic and olive oil
4. Sourdough bread loaf with olive oil and Italian dipping sauce seasonings
5. Angel food cake with strawberries and cool whip in the center and more drizzled aroun the top

Man, my kids eat good. I dont remember eating that good growing up. Now, I ate good, just differently good.

Anyway, the steaks are hanging tight in a mixture of olive oil and special seasonings. They will be ready in the next 20 - 30 minutes, so we better get this show on the road.

Lets cover a few random thoughts ....

1. In 2006, we had the Christmas Eve gathering at our house. There were many pictures taken but the one I am looking for is the family pictures where Rusty decided to join in. He sat in front of the family in several of the pictures but I dont have a copy of any of them. If you have this picture, please send to me (themtgylees@bellsouth.net).

2. Men, how many times have you managed to "scar" your kids? Let me further explain this one. I try to avoid being spotted in my under clothes by anyone other than my lucky bride. However, occassionally I am known to leave the bedroom in nothing more than my whities. Big E refers to this as scarring the children?!?! Being summer and the kids staying up later, the kids have had a string of incidences where they were "scarred" for a variety of reasons.

3. Losing weight is not a topic that I ever thought would be associated with me. I graduated from high school at a whopping 125 lbs at five foot eight (my height today). Somewhere around my late twenties, the drugs (legal, prescribed ones) and age slowed down my metabolism and I plumped up like a water ballon around the mid section. Alright, a few beers may have accumulated around there too?

Anyway, I am particpating in a "weight loss" contest with nine others at work. We have each kicked in thirty dollars for the winner to enjoy at the beach. The competition runs through August 27th (final weigh in). The winner will be determined by the weight lost, inches around the stomach lost, BMI improved, and blood pressure improvement. In reality, I am the second lightest and smallest guy in the competition so I dont stand much of chance BUT I am determined to at least drop ten pounds (down to 165) and most importantly drop 3 - 4 inches off the gut (my only real "fat" problem).

I am going to say this now ... I think the timing of the competition is a conspiracy against me. The reason is that I am traveling constantly and eating out, no place to run, workout, etc. That is my excuse and I am sticking to it.

4. I recently mentioned that we were looking into getting some work done in the girls bathroom. That is scheduled to begin on July 7th. Big E has handled all of this effort!!! I am excited to see what the new tile and door do for the bathroom. Im sure that I will end up painting the bathroom once it is completed too.

5. I dont know how but I almost forgot. Jessica had her senior portrait session on Thursday. I dont know exactly how long it took to take the pictures, but I do know that I made it from Hattiesburg, MS to Montgomery during the photo session. For my senior picture, we took one or two pictures not one or four hours to take the pictures!!! Does that mean I am better looking or have the times changed????????????

Testing a New Blog Entry Process

If you are reading this post, then you are reading a test post.  I am attempting to post directly from an email.  If this works then I should be able to create posts more frequently especially when I am traveling.

A Week Without Hilton

Its been almost a month since the last blog. To be honest, Ive been spending more time with Hilton (Hampton Inn, Hilton Garden Inn, etc) than my family this month. Finally, this week I get to stay home. Since I havent been home, I dont really have too much to say about the girls (heck I havent seen them this month till last night).

As a result, here are a couple of pictures from the Disney trip:


I know Mickey was proud to have his picture taken with such a good looking couple.

The twins having a friendly competition of "whack a mole". Jacob and I won and each of the boys got a stuff dinosaur for the effort.

For the annual flower fesitval, Epcot had topiaries of characters everywhere. This is Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

This is one of my favorites. Minnie looking so pretty in her little red dress.

You cant forget Pluto.

I'll try to post a few more pictures later.

Whole lotta a working going on ...

I hope everyone in the cyber world is doing great. For the girls and I, summer has officially kicked into high gear.

After returning from our vacation, I hit the road again for another trip through Mississippi. If anyone has some cool eateries or haunts in the southeast portion of the state, please send them to me. I will be spending a LOT of time over the next three months in that portion of the state and would love a few ideas on places to go.

Speaking of work, I dont think that I mentioned that Big E recently earned a promotion at work. I big congratulations goes out to her on the promotion.

Big E and I started working to complete the replacement of our fence. Last year we spent a few weekends replacing the planks down one side of the fence. Due to a lack of funding, we had to delay that project (that sounded kinda official, lack of funding, yada yada yada, sign me up for politics). However, we managed to get back into full gear over the Memorial Day Weekend. So far we've moved the front of the fence back to where we want it and are well on our way to completing the back of the fence. Big E is an excellent fence building partner and can handle a hammer like a pro.

We moved the fence back about thirty feet in order to give us room to expand the drive way. We need to create an additional parking area for Jessica's car. We've decided to take on this challenge ourselves. We've never done any concrete work, but our neighbor is a concrete guy and agreed to guide us through the process. Right now, we are in the process of digging out the area. Maybe I should say the girls are in the process of digging out the area (free labor!!!) and they are doing a great job. Once we get the area dug out, we are going to split a truck load of concrete with the neighbor (he is pouring himself a new walkway).

In addition, we left a small area to create a new flower and sitting area. I cant wait to see what Big E designs for that area.

Our other project is the girls bathroom. We are planning to replace the tile on the floor and surrounding the tub area. The floor tile started to crack and the grout in tub area is in really bad shape to the point that one tile fell off the wall. We need to get this done soon, so we are not going to attempt it ourselves. We are talking with contractors now for estimates, etc.

Once we select the contractor, I hope that he is prepared to teach me a few things. I hope that once the bathroom is complete, I will have learned enough about tiling that I can redo the front entrance.

As you can see, we have a lot of work ahead of us this summer. I hope that we can get everything completed in time to sit back and enjoy a little of the summer when we are finished.

Changing subjects, have you ever really noticed some of the odd topics that get discussed at dinner? With the girls, I generally dont get too many words in at dinner, so I have plenty of opportunity to listen or watch whatever is playing on the TV. Last night I watched the Mexican national soccer team play the Russian National soccer team at one of the local Mexican eateries. Only paying half attention to the conversation, I heard one of the girls announce that she shouldnt have eaten the spicy food since she was due to start her monthly cycle soon. WHAT?!?!?!!!!!!

Now, its not bad enough that the table topic has turned to the monthly cycle, but we are in a public restaurant and she isnt the softest talker in the world. Waiter!!! Get me a beer, please. We are sitting no more than two feet from the table beside us, there is another directly behind us, and many more in every other direction. Do we have to discuss the effects of spicy food on the mother nature? Worse, the conversation became a comparison opportunity. "Well, I cant eat this ...". "Well, I cant eat that ...". Blah blah blah.

Well, at least we werent discussing one of their other favorite topics; farting. I thought I lived with a bunch of girls, but sometimes I think they are really boys dressed like girls. No, that cant be right, they dont even dress like girls half the time........

Its my life ....